As Colin finds new excuses to avoid doing Beautician and the Beast, we’re back to do another rankings episode as the original gang gets back together again to rank all the Bond allies and find out what mischief and fights they will get into this time! What will Ben do this episode to piss off the other two? What will Noah do to piss off the other two? Who will Colin bring up that will have us all so terrified? Why are there allies out there that we didn’t include on this list? Who do we even forget exists? Why was editing this episode so difficult? Why does Noah have to pee so much? Are turbans that great? And why the bloody hell does this episode end up going so long? You’ll want to click away, not say a certain name and be close to a urinal for another episode that you’ll remember forever!
We interrupt our regularly scheduled episodes to bring you a surprise for all those literate listeners that have been dying to hear us talk about the James Bond Fleming novels. Rankings are back, in book form, as Colin is joined by a contractually obligated Noah to rank the 12 original Ian Fleming novels. Which books were improved by the movie, and which weren’t? How did Colin get caught saying something positive about Tiffany Case again? What were Noah’s demands to come back to the podcast? Is Ben dead, fired, or not able to contribute much due to his ongoing struggles with that reading thing? How many of these books can we possibly match in our rankings? And what are our ultimate choices as the greatest James Bond novels of all time? Dust off those old paperbacks and rank along with us in an episode only contractual obligations could bring you.
Ah commentaries! You love them! And you’re going to love our latest one as Ben & Colin go head-to-head on a movie one loves and the other hates with the iconic Licence To Kill and plenty of time to talk about our old buddy, Timothy Dalton! Why does everybody need to ‘do the Dalton’? Can Ben get Colin to say anything complimentary about Dalton as Bond in this episode? Why do we still find ourselves appreciating Sanchez more and more? Why does Colin call his kids jerks? Why do shirtless men once again take over the talking point? Why is Jamie rating men a thing all of a sudden? And how long can we actually stay on topic for once? Click and listen away to get yourself commentated on and smile like Timothy Dalton would want you to!
We haven’t had the greatest luck so far in recapping movies from our Bond actors when it comes to them being completely coherent films, so how are we going to do when it comes to having a closer look at a Roger Moore film? Well you’re about to find out as we go back to 1970 to look at the very interesting and unique movie that is The Man Who Haunted Himself. Does this movie make sense? Is this movie worthy of as much praise as Roger Moore gave it? How repetitive does it get when it comes to some of the story? Is Roger Moore the king of facial acting? Why do some actors need to be given permission to be in this movie? Which drunken guy in this movie is basically Ben? Why does Colin not like to call certain parts of the body by their correct names? Why is the boat scene so great? And why can we not find the plot for this movie once again? Get yourself separated from yourself and weirded out looks going for another interesting recap.
Well we come to that sad moment again where we have to pay tribute to an actor who played James Bond, and although the good news is we didn’t kill this one, the bad news is that it is perhaps the most iconic man to ever don the tuxedo in the legendary Sir Sean Connery. Ben & Colin go over their memories of Sean in the role and talk about just how iconic he was for not only the franchise, but for cinema in general. We also learn about the various tributes already flowing for him, find out why Noah isn’t with us to pay tribute to him and go over the variety of rankings we have previously done when it comes to his Bond films. It’s one schmashing episode to pay tribute to one schmashing man.
A second trailer for No Time To Die is finally here, and that means that we’re finally going to get to see it right? Well Ben & Colin are back to go over everything in the trailer and hope that it means we will! Why is Ben seemingly underselling this trailer? Why is Colin a little too excited for the trailer? Do we like a tidy villain? How many predictions can the boys get right? Will we see the new James Bond in the new James Bond movie for the next James Bond movie? And what promise does Ben make that he seemingly could regret? Get your planes ready and your bridge scene lined up as we seemingly get ourselves in the zone for some new Bond!
It’s time to get you back into commentaries once more as we chat over the movie that we always seem to love and rank highly in any of our rankings, The Spy Who Loved Me. Just how incredible is this film? Why does this movie seemingly never get any hate and why is that a good thing? Why is Ben still feeling bad for ever bagging out Roger Moore? What moments of pure camp somehow work in this very serious movie? Does this movie hold up incredibly well despite it being nearly 50 years old? Why do we want plush toys of starving African children? Does Colin know who his children are? And what are we renting for what reason? Remember that nobody does it better and find out that baby you’re the best by listening to this commentary!
Well, our first recap from an actor who played Bond turned out to be pretty crappy so why not give it another crack? This time around we’re moving into the legend that is George Lazenby as we recap a movie of his that isn’t a James Bond movie by looking closely over the 1975 movie that is The Man From Hong Kong. Is this movie just one elongated fight sequence? How is George Lazenby the best actor in this entire movie? Should Lazenby play villains more often? Do we like Jimmy Wang Yu and where does Colin know him from? Why does every Australian in the movie have to be overly Australian? Why are the sound effects average but the cinematography so good? How badly racist is this film and why does it not hold up today? And do we get sad watching this movie thinking what could’ve been had Lazenby stuck around as Bond a little bit longer? It’s enough to get you into a car chase and destroying some tables, so get to listening!
We took a break from our commentaries to bring you a recap of a film starring a Bond actor, and now that we regret that more than life itself, it’s time to get back into what we do best in try and stay on topic while talking over a Bond movie! Today we do that again with our final Pierce Brosnan commentary (*sniff* calm down Ben) as we find out about Jon Tenney and his dream once more with our commentary of Tomorrow Never Dies. Why does this movie need more love? Who once was Canadian who apparently isn’t Canadian anymore? Why is Pierce Brosnan just so damn beautiful? Is Teri Hatcher underrated as a Bond girl? Was Ben an idiot for ranking the title song of this movie so high? Why do we need to even mention Zardoz again this time around? And how long can the boys stay on topic throughout this commentary? It’s another classic episode that you won’t ever forget so get to listening and get to being entertained!
It’s been a while since we did a full movie recap, so what better way than getting back into recaps with a closer look at a film from each of the six Bond actors! Our first recap? Zardoz. Yup. That film where Sean Connery runs around in a nappy for 2 hours and wears a wedding dress and talks about the evil penis while surrounded by boobs. Sounds like a fun time right? What about watching a scene of Sean Connery watching porn while other people watch him try to get an erection? Or seeing Sean Connery get angry at a book and throwing it at the camera? Or Sean Connery floating around in a giant head? Or Sean Connery being a horse and pulling a cart? Or anyone actually trying to make sense of what on earth this movie even is? If you manage to make sense of us let us know. Because as you’ll hear in this episode, we have no clue what is happening. Enjoy people. You won’t forget it. We promise you that.